Flames

There’s this game I play

where I book plane tickets

to far away places

during quarantine,

to feel the burn

the impossible game of

self-sabotage

like lighting a match

and watching it’s flames

turn blue

on my finger tips

too hot

to stay lit

I push the travel dates back

every single day

And when the airline

representative

Says I

can’t move it back again

I say

I need to go somewhere

Where I can’t feel the burn