No One Can Know Me Better Than I Know Them

Don't ask me to explain myself. The frustration of not being listened to and being disregarded but still being controlled and cornered is rage that brings me to tears. I don't want to be asked to justify myself. I'll say what I need to, and I know how much I can leave out. Don't question me like I haven't thought about it.

I don't want to be away from my family, but I need my friends closer. I don't want my family talking to me and starting conversation about mistakes. If there's nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. I need my friends close. I am not myself when I'm with family. I am not who I am with my family.

I'm a big pretender. I'm only half the truth all the time. Half myself with these people, half myself with those people. It changes based on who I'm around. I'm never really living my truth unless I'm alone. And that's something I have to get out before I go. I'd hate to be a liar. I'd hate to be a poser. I'd hate to be fake when I die, and I would hate to leave without my family understanding my friends felt more like family than they did. I'd hate to leave any family without them knowing who I am. Not to be dramatic, but I'd hate to let anyone continue thinking they knew me better than they really did. If anyone has me all figured out, how can I rest assured they're think of me again after? Some mysteries are best kept as mysteries