Warning: this secret is not as deep as the others.

I'll be brief. My mom had this special nut butter. You know, the one you buy at Costco? Those big industrial jars that tout buzzwords and phrases like "vegan!" "gluten-free!" "ecologically friendly!" "One of these jars can feed a family in Tanzania for a year!"

I knocked it off of its pantry shelf while she was traveling abroad and it hit the floor, and the stupid glass jar broke (did you know that glass breaks easily?) immediately, leaving me a huge pile of superfood nut butter to scrape off the ground. I had to wipe the floor at least five times and burn six candles to eradicate the intense smell of peanut butter in the house.

Three days later she came back from her trip. And nothing. No comments about the nut butter. A week went by. Two. Three. A whole whopping month later, she muttered something about a nut butter she had bought specifically from Costco.

I cannot believe I had the guts to say it but I did it shamelessly.

"Mom, did you not hear Dad complain about gaining weight recently? He totally eats five tablespoons of nut butter a day. He finished it before you left on your trip."

To this day, she does not buy nut butter because she wants to help him lose weight.

....Also....My dad hates nut butter. He also found some 'strange stains' on the tile in our kitchen recently. Oops.