So I fell in love again.

-Rei

I fell in love with a whore that taught me to be myself. I was falling and falling and broke my fall with a shattered heart and an endless lust that was only satisfied with her. We tumbled in mattresses through a cacophony of moans and silence. God damnit I fell for her so fast it must’ve been a record.

And now I’m here. Swiping on dating apps trying to find her. I see her in so many faces, I miss her but I can’t tell her. when she said “ we should just be friends.” I wanted to say no and that I wanted her to stay and become more but instead we ended our Lustfull endeavors as my world crashed around me and she just became another face in a sea of past lovers and ex’s that I won’t ever be able to love again. Why? Why must I keep trying so hard when all I ever finish with is tears on both sides? I’m so sorry, god damnit I’m sorry. Maybe next exploratory journey into and onto another’s body and mind may be different and I won’t end up wanting to die again.

Or maybe not...