Virus Madness

By Michael Tomczyk

Lions and tigers and viruses, oh my!

This stupid pandemic is making people die!

Whether it's an accident or not,

This lethal virus can make our lungs rot.

They say the pandemic originated in a bat,

So we shouldn't eat bats, no matter where we're at!

If this was a weapon it would be kind of fun,

You'd just have to start coughing and people would run.

Instead of using guns assassins would simply sneeze,

or lick an Amazon package to make victims cough and wheeze;

Old boyfriends would discover their mail spiked with virus,

You could die from a contaminated CD by Miley Cyrus.

So now we're all staying home 24/7

and to help pay the bills, the government sends us a check;

Some people think that's kind of like heaven

Others think it's a kind of a pain in the neck.

In the meantime we can't even go out and get drunk,

They closed all the bars, so we're kind of in a funk.

How boring is this, just hunkering down?

We can't even see a movie or go out on the town!

The stores are all closed at the big shopping center

Even public parks have signs: DO NOT ENTER.

And so...here we sit til the virus goes away,

binge-watching TV and playing games we never play;

hoping the summer will set us all free

and get us quickly back to where we're supposed to be.