We’re Killing Me
When our hopes are too high
to jump
so we cross the street without looking
both ways
When we own a belt
but there are no rafters
ceiling fans
in our bedrooms
so we loop it through our pants
When we have pills we could gulp down
but they are anti-anxiety
and
after two
we don't feel us anymore
When our hands suddenly recover from
shaking fits
and feel strong enough to tighten around
our necks
but we have to use them to stop our legs
from trembling so quickly
because they make our bodies quake
too hard
before we could even try
When our friends take us home
and smile at us
and we melt
only to hear in the morning
they don't love us after all
When our bodies reject the poison we give them
rebelling against our brains
even though they're part of the issue
We too, spar with our conscious
minds and bodies
and find they are gladiators
unwilling to surrender
to our fear's power
and we still wish they would.
but it's a struggle
we just haven't won
-isn't it fun-
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