Clawing at Skin

Unable to calm, I reach for my chest

Unable to breath, I reach for my throat

Unable to scream, I reach for my eyes

Unable to cry, I reach for my ears

Unable to hear, I sit in my angered silence

I claw at my hand, because I can not scream,

I claw at my skin because I can only hurt me

I claw at my neck, I am bleeding and red

I claw at my skin, I will only hurt me

I cant feel that pain of my scratching

back and forth, my nails in my skin

When my muscles become tired, I only dig deeper

My nails in my skin, until I can begin scratching again

Panicked and rushed, I cannot breath

Panicked and mad, I cannot see

Panicked and hated, I only want to spare you

Panicked and scared, I dont want to hurt you

You judge me for tapping my finger on my hip

you judge me for crying, and now I cry no more

you judge me for leaving, and closing the door

you judge me for squeezing the ball in my hand

I want to scream, and hate you so

I want to rush at you with the broken pencil in my hand

I dont want to hurt you

So I go back to clawing at my skin

I cannot yell, so instead I cry

I cannot leave so instead I avoid your eye

I cannot listen to the music that calms me, so instead I tune the world out

I cannot stay calm, so instead I claw at my skin

I cannot feel angry

I cannot feel mad

I cannot feel irritated

I can only feel bad

I can only claw at my skin till i'm bleeding and red