for now [the shitty story of her and you and me]

her

there were so many long nights

[and she never shut up about you]

she fell in love too late and broke her own heart

i don’t think she knows the difference between reality

and her own mind anymore

you

god she loved you

listening to every word she said

drying every tear

absorbing every scream and every bitter word she took back

she never knew you were mine

the walls of her living room watched you two fall in love

and watched you fall back out

but after it was her

[before it was her again]

it was us

and i watched us fall apart anyway

slowly

and you watched me fall apart in a heartbeat

[i fell in love too late too]

your car stereo never hid my sobs

and her radio didn’t stop the tears from coming

and she still doesn’t know why

[she’s still my best friend]

and i can never not lie

″you can tell me anything”

only ever the saying of those with too much hope

the ones who don’t know enough to mean it

because she still tells me

every day

how fucked up it would be if we were in love this whole time

jesus am i that bad of a person

i thought it would be okay

i thought i was going to be the one to tear you apart

that i was going to wake up one day and leave

but it was always you

it was me that fell in love with a dream

[a dream that wasn’t only in my head]

because you were safe and warm and home

and it was hers too

you

god i love you

oh, reader, this isn’t as deep as you thought

i see you in every song, every star, every overpriced coffee

[that i know we would have bought together]

every sliver of hope

every broken heart and every piece of mine

and i still get in your bed like nothing changed

i remember the life we planned

and i’d live it a thousand times

and every time i know you’ll always slip away

for you can say the words as many times as you want

and i can say you can come back

[cause sometimes you do]

and when i looked again

you were [still] gone

@chainedinshadow