Gravity, My Weakness

A demon sits in my passenger seat all the time,

but I’m the one driving so you don’t notice him, do you?

Tears are like rainfall, dropping acid on my cheeks. It’s been so long, trying to hold it all in. My thoughts can’t stay balled up in a cloud.

Gravity wins, in the end, I’m caving in.

Am I floating forward or falling face down?

I can’t seem to tell the difference anymore...

In my mind, I am so alone

It’s a sea of thoughts, so dark and so cold

Can I escape? Swim away? Recover strength? Break free?

Oh no, is my inner ugliness seeping through? I guess covering up doesn’t really work, does it? Has it ever really worked though?

I’m cracking, shattering, I am glass when it smashes on tiled floors, bursting into billions of pieceis of me. All my hidden colours exploding.

I am embracing gravity, my weakness.

Gravity is my weakness, yet I’m so addicted to falling, to the rush of the wind between my fingers....everything around me falls...or am I just hallucinating?

A writer’s mind is a beautiful hell. I want to escape, but I am too addicted to my constructed fantasies. Trapped in a nightmare with the mesmerizing smile of a daydream.

My thoughts just dance…and dance…and dance…my reality fades, lost in space, with no air to breath…no air to live

Falling into blue...

falling away from you, dear world...oh how I used to love you! But I was innocent and

naive, realizing you could never really love me back. I have changed so much since

then...forgotten...please, don’t see what I’ve become...my demons are ugly as I keep

driving on...Darling, look away from me

In a crowd, can you see me falling? Shattering? Flooding with colourful blood and dark oceans?

Can you see it, dear world? Can you see me?

The world...my world...it keeps going, twisting, turning....living...a never ending highway. I let it mind its own business...I keep on driving.

“The world should forget your existence.” My demon always says to me.

My heart hurts so much, it can’t keep pumping, I’m losing circulation, so slowly. I can see blurred lines and butterflies.

Aren’t they beautiful?...Well, aren’t they?

More hallucinations...my lips won’t speak my thoughts out loud, so afraid because the horrors of my mind are too much to bare...towering like tsunami waves, crashing down on me, drowning in dark waters and hurricanes. All my colourful shards of glass, I lose them to the distant horizon.

Hallucinations are real...I’m losing my mind...just keep driving

This is not what’s supposed to happen. Reality is blurring, surrendering to demons. Dragged away by the coldest hands, drowning in thoughts and nightmares. My breath held in, to the point where my lungs give in....

I miss the feeling of the air.

You know the sea is too large to tame. I thought I could hold all its waves, stop the storm before it hits, hold the rain in the heavy sky...

But gravity is my weakness, the tears fall anyway...a drop at a time.

My smile melts ice cream on a summer day, my emotions so sickly sweet and sticky on fingertips. I knew the facade could never last.

Nothing is perminent and gravity always wins.

So paint me with the ink of my thoughts and let me soak in it. Let the ink dry over my dying heart, fortifying its walls that have stopped its drum beat. On the inside, a heart hollow of blood...there’s no point in holding it in anymore...there is nothing left for it to hold.

Embracing nightmares, empty vessels filling with darkness, bringing back dark emotion. Let darkness sparkle in everything, let sunset stain glass float on a midnight ocean, floating with the stars and galaxies, dancing with the moon. The moon is a wonderful partner to guide me, we dance on to imagination’s infinity.

Let my thoughts shine on paper, written in blood red ink...or maybe purple would be better. I have a hidden darkside, but don’t we all?

“Plus,” says my demon, “the dark side has the sweetest, most addictive cookies.”