Anti-matter

having counted many leaves

in the progressing tome

of my life

I ponder as as stare

at the newness of this page

onto which I've strayed

encompassing fullness and possibility

while vitality ebbs away

this is an intrepid sort of heartbreak

for I have decades since learnt

embracing the coexistence of yearning

this is not the heart split wide

to enable room for growing inclusions

this is not nostalgia for youthful chances betrayed

this is not the regret of words left unsaid

this is not the remorse of violent speech hurled into an atomic fission of souls

this: a slow seeping of quintessence

that distills

out of the fibre of my perpetuum

wicking away

as droplets of eternity

along with the aftertaste of

your reminiscence

departing strands of shadow

displaced, forfeit

to the other side of the veil

irretrievable until this body passes

until I find you again

in the darkness

giving up inside

as I have.