fear of my fear

I fear

the judgement of those I don’t know

and

the opinions of those I do

I fear

the weight of eyes awaiting my own mouth to produce noise

and

the contents that my brain will send to my lips

I fear

the responsibility of bearing the love of others

and

the uncertainty of my own reciprocation

I fear

the allowance of myself to be comfortable

and

the voice that nags to say happiness is fleeting

I fear

the feelings that I let wander inside me

and

the doubt that I am able to feel as others do

I fear

my own fear

that

it will consume me, it will engulf me, it will strangle me