Adieu, my love

Canım benim, sevgilim, askım, bir tanem,

If you are reading this, it means I finally have the answers to all the existential questions we once pondered… It also means you no longer need to keep my feet warm at night. I suspect that might be the hardest to bear right now. I love how you wrap yourself around me at night. I am crying as I write this, feeling the loss though it is still the future right now. But it will happen. Has happened if you are holding this letter in your hands. I’m sorry the ink smeared. I was going to start over, but then I thought I’d leave the memory of the tears I shed, so that you will know how deeply you are loved. How I feel the ache and share it with you. Now.

I may be gone, but my love for you lives on with you, in your heart, in the memories, yes, but more importantly, in the family and friends that surround you. The many that bore witness to the love-filled life we shared. You may only have the memory of holding me, but it is a good one, yes? Remember the good times, the laughter, the love. Look around at the life we built together, the love we shared with those around us. Look at our beautiful son and the life he has created, the life he loves. Continue to be a part of that life and love it for me. Embrace it! I beg you: Do not let grief control you. Do not push the world away. Do not bury yourself in the past. I am not there. Life is not there. Live, my love. Live.

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