Grace

I miss Grace. It’s been three years which is no time at all to still think about the person who was once your bestfriend. Sometimes I think about finding ways to message her and reconnect again, but maybe it’s better to leave the past as it is; behind me and not in my view so that I can attempt to forget.

Inactively or actively searching, I find remnants of her scattered around my life. The picture I drew of her, the words we wrote together, events that trigger memories of her. It can be days, weeks, months, or years where I go without her on my mind, but the moment she reenters the impact of all the feelings hit me like a train.

I wish that I could be back in her life again. Seeing that she might have found somebody she wants to be with for the rest of her life hurts. I wish I could have been there for that. To listen to all her thoughts again and be happy for her and get to be by her side for the rest of our lives too. But I can’t. So instead, I try to move on so it doesn’t hurt anymore, but I always keep the fondness of remembering her close. And wish her a happy birthday from afar, every January 5th.