Betrayal

“It was an accident! I swear. I didn’t...nothing was going to happen. Nothing is happening.”

I stood there, in front of my boyfriend, wishing I was dead.

“You gotta believe me!” Tears were streaming down my face. I hated myself. I hated myself so much. If only he could understand. His face was blank with no emotions showing. I searched his deep blue eyes for forgiveness.

He finally moved and ruffled his hair with his hand. He looked down and sighed.

“I-I don’t understand. Why?”

He looked at me, now with confusion and hurt. My heart broke into billions of pieces. I wish I could go back in time and slap myself. How could I be so stupid. How could I betray his trust. He gave me everything and I just threw it away. It was one kiss. One kiss that threw 2 years of love and friendship away.

I took a deep breath and wiped my tears away. “Look, Josh,” He looked up and me, “Yes, I did go to his house. That part is true. I’m sorry. He texted me saying it was an emergency. You know we were friends. So I went over to his house to see if anything was wrong. I was scared ok. My judgement got the better of me. I should have called, I know.

Then when I went inside the house, Paul was like I need to talk to you. I asked him if he was in trouble. He was insistent. He took me into his room. He started talking about random things, like how we have a project and if we wanted to be partners. I asked him what the emergency was. Like why was I here? And he told me.” I paused, “he told me that he had feelings for me. I kinda sat there. I was shocked. I told him that I already have a boyfriend. Then he just leaned over and stared into my eyes, and then kissed me. I swear I jumped back and ran out of the room. He kissed me and I left. That’s all. I was revolted by his behavior. I never knew he was going to do something like this. You gotta believe me. Please Josh. Please.” I looked at him with pleading eyes, searching his face for any sign of forgiveness.

He sighed again and looked away. I could feel the waves of hurt coming off of him. I would rather die then be here, hurting him.

“I just need some space, to think,” he said, getting up.

“Oh ok,” I said. That was good right. He was going to think. He wasn’t going to break up with me yet. Yet.