A Year-End Mind Check, 2019

I used to think we were the mayflies of the universe, cursed to one life and as short as the blink of an eye. At first I mourned for this: we live to 100, the universe is 14 billion years, and we are near-invisible dots - 100/14,000,000,000 - on the universe’s timeline. What, then, is the point of trying when we are so insignificant?

Then I found a way out of this harsh reality. I learned to find vindication, excitement, and courage in knowing we were so small in the universe’s timeframe. Our time here is so inconsequential, why waste it living by societal pressures? Live instead by your own philosophy, follow your gut, chase your dreams. Take risks, because when you pop out on the other side of fear, you realize it was the best thing you ever did. I believed in this creed so much that I had it tattooed center my body, a mayfly spanning the rib cage and up the collarbone.

Today, I have permanently etched into my skin a faith I don’t perfectly align with. Today, I know we are not insignificant. We are eternal, reincarnated, the action and cause, and our souls exist beyond the cycle of life and death. This is still a fortifying realization, even more than a one-life motto. We have more than one chance - in fact, infinite chances - to prove ourselves. Our actions and intentions affect the universe, yet even we choose the lesser path, we always see forgiveness. We work for what might lie past the ego. And what lies past it? Well I have 2020, and infinity, to figure that Ultimate Unknown out.

And as for the mayfly tattoo, I’m reminded every day of constant evolution.