Pale blue vision.

This is the color of Death Cab

and cloudy vision.

I was hoping for someone like you all my life, the blue-green depths of rightness,

of surety, of the absolute

that accompanies the ignorance

of not having lived long enough

to scar then heal.

I’ve found the ocean

but I could never find the courage

to even hope for solid ground.

Then one day, like a pulsing vision,

like a vivid memory of being a child

that beats the heart into rhythm,

you arrived.

But I wasn’t ready.

I hadn’t learned how to give myself away

in equal parts heart and mind.

I only knew how to run,

which was enough for everything

I’ve had to face before now.

But it seems it’s no longer enough,

and I’m at a loss.