probably not

hand over hand over heart

watch just watch as I slip apart

sinking and winking

clinking and drinking

running my hands through you

running water

sitting glue

hold on hold me hold on

hanging and hinging

starving and binging

I have lived life with a high tolerance for pain and I wonder what it would be like if I felt it all

what it would be like if I let myself fall

but I haven't the time to slip

slip slap slop drop drip drop tick tock

I wish to take myself apart and put myself back together again in hope of fixing the perpetual ache of my engine but I can't quite find any edges to pry apart

there are cracks in my sanity but no matter how deep my fingernails dig there is nothing beneath my skin but honeycomb and cotton

forget forget forgotten

undo me and discover the things buried beneath layers of denial

empty epiphany entity eloise

I dreamed a dream

sinking slipping sipping drunk sunk fuck

spilling secrets with my own ears plugged

I'm not asking for a savior I'm not asking for a favor I just wish you wanted to

I can do just fine on my own

I don't feel any pain

and I'm damn good at walking away