and maybe

The wounds are an addiction,

I can never seem to break

The endless nights of angst, it might be tradition

At this point, maybe fake.

I wouldn’t know

I’m blind to the faults,

and I trip on the cracks

and fall again into the cover show

of flashing lights and panic attacks

closing skies and no escape.

Static building, charcoal road

Overturn unturned stones

And keep walking,

but falling,

and running,

and calling

and drowning

and crying

and failing

and lying.

It’s okay.

It’s not,

I know.

I know that,

thanks.

It’s still there, those words,

I never forgot,

I didn’t want to know them,

but they never went away,

And I know it’s not okay,

Feeling this way,

Is it?

I said, a while back,

No, it wasn’t,

but maybe it is

maybe it could be

maybe we could be

maybe you could be

maybe we were

maybe it was

maybe you never

maybe we didn’t

maybe we should

maybe I shouldn’t

maybe I could

maybe you knew

maybe you’d want that

maybe we did

or maybe we should go

and maybe I should stay

maybe I could try it

maybe I could run

maybe you might love me

and maybe I could forgive you

and maybe then...