Masochism

Sometimes I can feel the universe--

Quivering and rippling through me in great, thunderous waves. 

I am terrified.

I am elated. 

I feel every thing.

Every butterfly wing.

Every bee sting.

Every hot night spent waiting.

I am tired.

Kneeling in the grass,

Hair bath water wet.

I hear the rain but;

It has not come to me yet.

Ripped apart birthday cake.

Screaming,

At the top of my lungs

Because hurt like this--

Is blissful.

I can feel a little scream climb into my throat--

A little leap of adrenaline, 

When the abyss stares back at me.

But I am silent. 

I bow my head, and smile at passers by.