nothing personal

i lie awake and count the stars

up on my ceiling, glowing

green like my insides.

ive always counted, one, two,

three weeks since i told you

that i loved you.

three weeks since everything

shifted upside down,

the stars on the ground,

my heart in my hands,

and yours in the sand.

i bleed out for you, but you

wash to the sea where

she is, where i'm

knotting my rope that hangs 'round my bones and i

shutter-framed windows now blasted with wind,

cold blowing heavy like immortal sin,

nothing is warm.

tornadoes in november are rare around here but

where i am there's always that looming fear of

destruction, of nothing, desolation and grime

and, fuck, i'm so tired of spending the time

on you, on me, on living, on this,

you're my best friend, my soulmate, all i want is a kiss

goodbye before i force myself to go fly

away from this town, from this world, from this life,

i'd ask for a hand but you're not holding mine,

i guess that's my cue to go make your moon shine.