Maybe IDK

This song spoke to me on a personal level because it confronted many of the same worries and questions I have about myself and the way the world works today. Listening to it gave me a sense of resolve and comfort knowing I'm not alone in my uncertainty.

“I wonder why I feel short when my money’s tall.” Even when I’m successful and achieve my goals, I don’t find myself with the pride and satisfaction I should be feeling.

“I wonder why I miss everyone and I still don’t call.” Loneliness engulfs me and seeps through everything I do like a pernicious virus. I want to feel connected with other people again, but I can’t bring myself to take that first step and reach out.

“I wonder why they say hate your brother and hide your gold. I wonder why we all fear the things that we might not know.” The harsh reality of today is that people have become selfish and greedy and judgemental. We’re told to keep our successes to ourselves and drag everyone else down to get where we want to go. Status quo is sacred, and no one is open to challenging their beliefs and discovering new points of view.

I can’t offer an answer as to why we’ve become like this. There are things I can’t explain about myself or other people. But Bellion offers a sense of condolence with his words.

“Although I guess if I knew tomorrow, I guess I wouldn’t need faith. I guess if I never fell, I guess I wouldn’t need grace. I guess if I knew His plans, I guess He wouldn’t be God.”

The point of being human is existing in the unknown. We walk in the darkness, letting our choices take us wherever we’re supposed to go, whether it’s triumph or failure. And we live with that. We lift our chin up and power forward, knowing we can survive, and knowing a belief in a better future is all that is needed to get there.

So maybe I don’t know what’s waiting for me.

But maybe that’s okay.