|Trapped|

How can being alive feel like a trap? I know how people are supposed to feel; I know how they're supposed to live. I see it everyday in clickbait listicles and Instagram feeds. Try as I may, I can't get the hang of it. How can I pretend to be happy on social media when every aspect of life is so overwhelming to me? I didn't ask for this life. I don't want it. Even when I think about my emotions--try and really figure out what is wrong with me, I'm met with a whirlwind of frustation and confusion. I want to give up but I don't even know how. I lack the fundamental skills required to be a productive adult. I can't cope with being berated by deadlines and expectations at work. Driving terrifies me. On my daily commute, I get to practice resisting a panic attack. Bills and the basics are a constant struggle. I'm never relaxed. There is always a new worry to worry about. I feel as if I'm wired specifically to be incompatible with society and I can't stand it. I'm an animal in a trap I can't escape, and I don't have the guts to chew my own leg off.