In the End

You ask me how I want to die? As if to spark some inventive idea in my head, as if I hadn’t thought about it too many times before. You ask me how I want to die, but would it not be too much to ask for a death that is less painful than living? For a death that brings relief, rather than pain? That is my choice: anything that hurts less than the dissonance of existence. Will that choice turn out well, in the end? Well, I suppose, while a painless death may well be my choice, the consequences are not mine to experience. Because I will be dead and in the dark, those who love me will mourn, and those who hate me will rejoice.

And that is why I choose to endure, because the pain is nothing compared to the pain others will feel because I accepted your offer to die. To die now would be selfish. And I would rather get through the pain than make pain for others.