ll pause

im in the wake of my grassy high. i woke to my friends running through lawn sprinklers and laughing in the distance. i realized i saw people who genuinely loved life. as i, far from their world, was the only one who could hear my scripted laugh because i cant fathom a life without swallowing synthetic joy. a life without deep existential talks with the sunset in the window glass. what's a life without self destruction? in that moment, i knew. i woke and i was spacing out into the bermuda grass while sweat and water dripped from my nose.

...

>>resume