3.5 Stars

In another world maybe we wouldn’t have moved out of the U.S.

Maybe I would have kept on the path I was on.

I wouldn’t be here.

I’m not talking wouldn’t be alive which is a possibility

I’m saying as you know me...if you know me wouldn’t exist so in another world or life

there is a meaner, bitter, depressed, butthurt idiot walking around wishing she didn’t exist.

Be glad you live in the maybe where the deprecating, miserably fine idiot is walking around.

Not great, not bad, not unique but not what I would have been.

I’d recognize who I was but I wouldn’t like them.

In another life maybe I would have been smarter but maybe in another life, nothing would have been different except what body I was born in and the family I was given.

In another life maybe I would have been wishing for what I have now even with the self-loathe and exhaustion that follow every waking moment. Even with the lethargy that claims the chains around my heart. The guilt that wraps around my purpose clubbing me over not being a better daughter. In another life maybe I wouldn’t want another one for the people around me because everything would be perfect.

Hell in another life maybe I could be born as a housecat and not have to worry about this shit.