The Day After Tomorrow

The books in my bag are heavy,

Heavier than the lids of my eye,

So I stay awake to finish,

Even though I’m too tired to try.

Finally I give up and give in,

To the incessant urge to sleep,

But as soon as I shut my eyes,

I count the pages instead of sheep.

In the stasis of being semi-awake,

Memories of the day flood my mind,

Like the time I pushed a pull door,

Or when I said something unkind.

Suddenly I fear tomorrow.

The test that I didn’t study for,

The friend I really don’t want to see,

The class I hate right to my core.

I fear the day after that, too.

What if my bus gets into a crash?

Or a dormant volcano erupts?

Coating life as I know it in ash?

My life isn’t ready to end yet,

And I’m forced to think about that too,

If I die the day after the next,

Without doing the things I wanted to do.

My family’s last memory of me,

Would be how I missed dinner again,

And how I would rather go out,

Than see my little brother turn ten.

I’m a bad person, I realize,

And my life is too dark to end now,

I need time to become better,

But even then, I don’t know how.

So instead of sleeping, I’m awake,

Thinking about how I’ll be better,

Tomorrow, just in case the world ends,

I’ll write all my loved ones a letter.

I’m sorry, I’ll write with a heavy heart,

I never deserved such good friends,

Or family, or anything at all,

I wish I could have changed before the end.

The words float through my mind slowly,

Chasing the idea of sleep away,

A tear rolls down my cheek as I swear,

I’ll be better, starting today.