I yell at the skies.

How do I start

My heart

To rise once more

After being thrown across the room

Back into my face,

AGAIN..

And stomped on for good measure.

Do I perform CPR?

Do I stab it with adrenaline?

Shall I use the defibrillator?

The electric shocks aren’t enough.

I pick my heart back up off the ground,

Gingerly holding that fragile thing.

The one that threw it turned his back to look out over the city.

On his balcony,

We sit in silence now.

My brain is yelling to run again.

It was warm outside,

But now the clouds gathered over the once present sun.

His shadow was the cause of the now present permeating cold within my bones.

I put my heart back in the gaping hole in my chest,

Making sure to lock the door with chains this time.

I’m Begging it to restart.

To hold on.

The tears I refused to shed?

Threatening to well over the rims of my soul gazers..

I bid adieu and walk out with not a look back.

I am trembling,

as if injected with the adrenaline I needed to jumpstart my heart.

“Hello sir?!”

I scream at the skies,

“How do you heal a heart?”

Is it bandaids?

Crazy Glue?

Kintsukori?

Must I use sutures?

Someone must have the answers.

All the hands yearning to hold me,

All the hands yearning to be with me,

But the hands that I want?

They let me fall.

Over and over.

They make me fall,

Without intention of catching me.

So I freefall,

From Cloud Nine,

To my home in Hell.

To rise from the flames once more.

A hardened Phoenix,

Eventually I’ll emerge a woman of steel.