Cowardly Courage?

Am I a coward for wanting out? I’m living a life that was never meant to be lived. It couldn’t have been. It must have been a rough draft that was supposed to be deleted, but was given to me by mistake. Everyday is a battle. Some days I loose, while other days, I am all but obliterated. It’s never easy getting up in the morning, knowing that in the end, I will regret everything. I am fighting with my mind each day, reminding myself that life will get better, but never believing it. Everyday is a test of courage, and those days, those dark and terrible days, when nothing goes right and death seems like the way to go, am I a coward?

I don’t see suicide as courageous. It is not brave to end your life. It is incredibly hard to actually attempt/succeede at suicide, slicing open your body takes some guts and seeing your own blood pool around your feet...is not for the weak minded. But suicide is not courageous. Neither is it cowardly.

@Adin