THE SKY IS FALLING!

End of the World as We Know It?

Gracie Gull for The Morning Dove

Dozens of panicked parents scrambled to pick up their children from Nester Elementary this Tuesday afternoon when school was called off early due to dangerous reports. During recess, nine-year-old Rick N. Tittle was allegedly injured by what he could only describe as pieces of the sky falling. “I was just sitting by my favorite tree when something just plopped down on my head,” Tittle told The Morning Dove, “It was a piece of the sky. I saw it with my own two eyes.”

After visiting Nurse Byrd, word spread quickly throughout the school. Soon, Tittle’s entire class was talking about the incident. “I believe that [Tittle] knows what he’s talking about. He’s my best friend, and he’s really smart.” Jenny Penn told reporters. “The sky can fall, the world can end-- whatever. No school’s cool with me,” Chucky Tucker smiled with enthusiasm. “I’d hate to miss the first game of the season, but it’s better to be safe than score a few goals as the sky comes crashing down.” soccer player Rand Sanders informed us. “I practiced so much for the school play. I hope the world doesn’t end before I show the world my talent.” Blake Stakey said with optimism. Another student, Lucy Ruse, was happy that she called in sick today.

Although many fear the end is nigh, some are not convinced. “These assumptions are absurd!” Principal Hurkey told reporters, “Precious learning hours and educational opportunities are being wasted due to useless tarradiddle. Danger? Bah. Kids these days don’t know the meaning of the word. Back in London, I went to boarding school. No weekends. No snow days. No nothing until the day I graduated. The cafeteria could be on fire, and we’d eat just eat lunch outside on the lawn.”

Despite the dispute, Mayor Foxx has declared a state of emergency over the city. “Until the crisis can be resolved, we heavily advise that you all take refuge here at City Hall,” he warned the citizens of Eggling.

No one has seen or felt a piece of the sky fall since, but, no citizen has been seen either. The city of Eggling has pretty much become a ghost town.