Tough To Love

***As a note to the reader, this peice is purely fictional meant to be the perspective of many people in an abusive relationship. It is meant to share awareness, not as a plead for personal assistance.

I put on my makeup

concealer over the bruise.

It still stings when I touch it,

but I know you didn't mean it.

Another night I held you as you sobbed

begging my forgiveness, to stay

You won't do it again

You love me so much

and I did

and I will

We're part of a small group at church

When we go there together every week

people tell us how lucky we are

What a miracle to still be so in love

What's this mark?

I just wasn't paying attention at work

You're so funny, you clutz

You should be more careful

and I laugh

and I cringe

I prepare dinner, your favorite

you had a great day at work

you made the big sale today

I'm so proud of you

We meet with your friends later

You tease me about my flaws

Everyone laughs, I do, too

Even when you tell the secret ones

and I go along

and I try not to cry

I prepare dinner, everything is right

You had a bad day at work

I breath and just stay quiet

But you're drunk again

I let you yell at me

I'd rather you do it to me

than some poor person

some stranger who doesn't know

and I protect them

and I take it

I wake up on the floor

another blood stain to clean

You're crying in the corner

You thought I was dead

You're so sorry again

You won't do it again

You'll try harder again

No more drinking again

and I believe

and I forgive

I used to fight back

I'd yell at you too

But it's quicker to just sit there

until you're done

I could leave but I won't

I have no family and your friends

wouldn't believe me anyway

You're such a great woman

and I'll forgive you

and I'll be your man