A Letter to my Enemies

I remember the days when I was 'popular'; when you two and I would joke around, you tossing your hair over your shoulders and me rolling my eyes at anything or one that dare defied us.

I remember the day I told you I was suicidal and you said I was just being overdramatic. Then, when I first self-harmed, you told me to get over it.

I remember trying to tell you and you wouldn't listen. I tried to tell you something was wrong but you just ranted about soccer practice or about the book report I had already finished but you hadn't even started it.

I remember how you told your mom I was bullying you and my mom got mad at me for bullying; you started hanging out with Ava Case, the girl that bulied me specifically.

I remember how in fifth grade, a year after that, you remade your little gang without Carissa and I don't even care I'm using your names because you hurt me so much.

I remember telling my mom, 'Please don't send me there, I can't do it anymore,' and her telling me to stop being truant.

I remember refusing to go to school not one or two times but five times due to your bullying. You laughed at me when I had an anxiety attack and you told everyone who I tried to befriend me awful lies and I was left wondering why no one would talk to me.

I was ten. And you destroyed any bit of self-worth or self-esteem or confidence I ever had. Because of you, I thought of killing myself everyday for two years. Thats 730 days.

I'm terrified to go back to school even though it's been 5 years. Because every time I try to ask for help, I've been rejected or belittled. And that started with you.