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Challenge
One-Handed Sentences
"In my opinion, you look jumpy." This sentence can be typed entirely with the right hand, without moving it out of position on your keyboard. Can you type a longer (or funnier) sentence with one hand, without moving your fingers across the invisible center line? Left-hand characters: 12345$ qwert asdfg zxcvb Right-hand characters: 67890 () yuiop hjkl;' nm,.? This is a highly technical challenge ;) Good luck! In order to reach the 15-word minimum, feel free to type "cats" (a left-handed word) or "puppy" (a right-handed word)!
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Nerium_Oleander

Left and Right

Left Hand:

After sweet watercress stew

Taste greater beers

Eat crab bread at bed

Tear dresses as wafers

Caress sweated breasts

Egg greets Dad

Feed bastard babe

Right Hand:

Plop no kin, no puppy in my pool, you hunk o’ junk; plunk no monk, no nymph in my kiln, you puny, oily loon.