Post-partum

I've wanted you for so long.

I loved you before you were in my arms.

I knew carrying you made me crazy

I felt like I was always angry.

I'd cry when I couldnt find a sock.

Your daddy would tell me to just stay calm.

I'd throw a fit and then laugh after.

Nothing I could control

It was the hormones.

Everyone told me this was normal.

But no one warned me about a few days after.

I held you in my arms

I looked into your eyes.

My child my love.

So why did I want to die?

Isn't this supposed to be the happiest time.

God won't you stop with the crying

I was not made for this

God can't you shut up for a minute.

You would be better off with out me

All I do is yell and scream

I love you but I hate you

What mother hates their child?

You'd be better off if I died

I take the razor to my wrist

Because I think you better off than this

My blood covered baby

I have loved you from the begining

No more pain for either of us.

This is my last action of pure love