Dear myself,

I can not even begin to tell you how sorry I am for how I have treated you. For everything. If I had to apologize for one thing but everything at once it would be for sabotage. I want to love you but I don't know how. With that comes the destruction that I had brought upon you. A destruction that you never deserved. I have tore you down and ruined your life for years for what seems like now to be no reason. I have left scars and memories permenantly cemented into your mind that you now have to regret for the rest of your life. I still to this day continue to do this to you, I stop you from seeing how mcuh some people care for you and how important you truly are. In the future I hope to fall back and let you live. Every blade of grass holds our mark and I want you to have a chance to realize how much yours means to some people. I need to stop having you focus on people who could not care less for your existence and more for people who do. I will help you through this and make you grab a hold of that pit of fear and anxiety and throw it into the wind and live freely.