Its a little dry

Please try this cake, I spent so many hours making it. No? Oh, umm, please? I know it was rude to take that random picture of you, run away crying when you called me "freind" but hey we all make mistakes. Yours was forgetting to add "girl" before "freind" so we could be girlfreind and girlfreind. An honest oversight I admit, you had me worried that happily ever after was an illusion. LOL. I could tell you agree because your shoulders are so tight.

No, wait, don't read the cake, it's not like I consulted anattorney for spelling out a legally binding contract using frosting and by eating it, you'll be accepting my unrequitted, unprompted affections forever and ever as spelled out in article five section three right by the chocolate swirl. That would be crazy. And I'm not crazy, I'm stable like a room full of horses, baby.

Wait, dont leave, my ex is a body pillow and gets abusive when I use too much fabric softener. Come back... please?