will i always have to lie that i’m okay

if only i had taken one more

one more pill

one more and it might’ve

worked

i tell them i’m better now but

i’m so much worse

but “fake it till you make it”

has been my lips’ only truth

i don’t know why i called the hospital when i

couldn’t breathe anymore

i didn’t want to

if only i hadn’t

then maybe i wouldn’t have to still

be here

day after day

minute after minute as i become n u m b

to the pain

i guess now i’m just waiting

until i’m too numb to dial 911

until i’m too numb to think

until i’m so numb

that death will be just another normal day