Faded.

Where’d you go, you faded out.

Guess it’s me who’s lookin jaded now.

Gotta Fake it till I make it now

Don’t need my heart you can take it out

I know I was never your favorite, and you always showed me love

But why do I still feel like I was never good enough

Was it because you gave me so many chances to get my shit together

And all I ever did was fuck it up?

Damn, maybe, but promise I fuckin tried

To be someone you could look at and feel a little pride

All I ever wanted was for you to be proud

And to feel like I was home, not just in a house

Part of that is on me, I know, I’ve never felt at home

I’ve always had to move, like my heart was happier alone

But even alone, I still wished someone was around

To pick me up, dust me off when I hit the ground

That was supposed to be you, the hero in the cape

But now it feels like there was always a mask, fucking fake

I know it sounds like a little boy, crying about the past

But it’s your little boy, crying about his fuckin dad

If I said it was all bad, I’d be a fuckin liar

All things considered, I was a pretty happy child

And part of that has to be because of you

I know it wasn’t easy back then, all the shit you went through

You did your best to make us all feel happy

making sure we didn’t have to go without

I know you meant it when you said you loved me

I think about that a lot, I never had a doubt

But at some point, you put other things in front

Maybe that’s what happens when your kids grow up

They get older, and eventually move away

And part of you moves on, though you’d probably never say

I get that, I do, but I guess I just wanted more

than hey, happy birthday, I love you, you don’t call anymore

And I don’t call either, but your effort has been gone for a while

So if you ever swallow your pride, I may be a man now, but I’ll always be your child