Vicious Cycle

Like children fear the dark, I fear you

Imposing your blackness upon me like an abyss

Stifling stillness. Too much time. Time to regret

Time to wallow a morass of yesterdays

Absence; quietness ushers me backward

Backward into the corridors of my heart

Portraits line the halls, my face in each

Young eyes full of love, so much hope

Snapshots of ecstasy, just before calamity

I reach out to caress beloved familiar faces…

Ashes smear my fingertips

Blackness. Stillness. So much time….

The hollow echo of broken promises

Reverberates in the stale air

‘I’ll never leave you…’

‘Baby, I love you..’

‘For better or for worse’

‘Until death do us part…’

In the darkness I panic. Pain constricting my throat like smoke

Flailing I reach out for comfort; for whoever’s near

I compromise myself; willing the hands of time to move

Drinking deeply the sweet laudanum to lull away the pain

I awake a year later…

Your blackness greets me.

(begin again)