s l e e p l e s s

it’s been two years.

i kissed a guy the day after you broke up with me,

a vain attempt to hide the pain.

i told him something was bothering my eyes,

but the tears were for you.

i thought it would get better with time,

so i slept with random guys,

and i kissed with even more.

i became an expert at creating an alibi for tears.

as much as i tried to,

the alcohol only numbed my mind,

not my heart.

as much as i longed to,

love was always mocking me

with your eyes.

they told me they loved me,

and as i said it back

i imagined that you were here

instead of strangers.

it’s been two years.

but every time something funny or sad or happy happens,

the first thing on my mind is to tell you.

and then i realize.

you aren’t here

anymore.

i love you,

but just like with all my lovers,

i am beginning to realize our love

was one sided.