Look at Me

'Here Dad! Look! I drew you a picture!'

He sits at his desk rubbing his brow

He stops,

Looks at me.

'Show me.' he says and I beam loudly,

Passing him my paper.

'It's a picture of us'

'Who's this one then?'

'That's mum.'

He stops

Looks at me

My beaming is bottled as I see his cloudy face

'What's wrong?'

'Nothing. Nothing. It's very good.'

My smile appears again and I skip off

To join my teddys at the school I made.

I emerge from my room, school backpack on,

Shoes tight and stiff with the smell of new leather.

He stops

Looks at m

'Show me.' he says and I give a little spin.

'I'm a big girl now!'

'Let's look then.'

I stand against the wall, he makes a scratch with a pen.

He stops

Looks at me

His cheeks are wet, sparkling with tears

'What's wrong?'

'Nothing possum.'

My smile appears to mirror his

Wiping his face, he pens 'First Day at School'

I emerge from my room, my hair all done up

Face all made and ready to go

He stops

Looks at me

'Show me.' he says, I give a small sigh,

Take him to the door where we greet the poor boy,

Standing there in his stiff shirt, tie a little awry..

His eyes say enough, this boy is a good one.

He stops

Looks at me

His eyes are tinged with fear

"What's wrong?''

'Nothing. Nothing. Have a nice night.'

My smile spreads and I promise to be home by ten.

He sees me walk away,

hand in hand with some other boy,

down the garden path-

A twinge of fear, as he sees him,

Stop

Look at me

Our eyes meet and I beam,

not for Dad, and he feels a little sad.

He knows I'll leave soon,

he can't hold me forever.

Stop.

Please look at me...

My little girl,

once so vulnerable

but now she blooms,

without me.