Obsession

110

100

90

That’s how

I fell

From a healthy

13

Year old girl

To a frail

Child

Obsessed with

Becoming thinner,

And thinner.

A bagel dressed

With cream cheese

Served as fuel for

An entire day.

Track practice

Soccer practice

X-Country skiing.

A sip of water;

Not too much.

Concave stomach,

Protruding hips,

Absent meses,

Hair as dull as matte.

Concerned parents

Dragged me to the doc.

Every drop of urine

Collected for a week.

Protein present…

Kidneys failing.

“Lose one more pound and you’ll be admitted”.

The obsession to be

Thinner

Thinner

Thinner

Consumed me for a year.

We were

ONE

But...

I had to kill it;

The Obsession,

Before it killed me.

My older brother

Sat with me

As I slowly,

Painfully

Consumed a half

PBJ sandwich.

My stomach hurt.

My pride hurt.

Concave stomach

Expanded.

Protruding hips

Disappeared.

Absent meses

Made their monthly appearance.

Hair as smooth as silk again.

90

100

110 +

24 years later

And still reflecting,

Still not knowing

Why that

Obsession

Consumed me.

I’m happy it’s dead.