ocean.

I wished this upon myself, and no one else-

I did not consider you, I dove headfirst,

smiling at the adrenaline rush but speaking only

of how it hurt when I hit the bottom

and could not swim back up.

I hoped to find you, somewhere in that water,

searching for something I had not lost.

I told you everything you did not want to hear,

you swam away. I followed. I begged for you to come back,

whispered,

"it's okay, you don't have to love me"

through the silence of the ocean that separated us.

I knew that you could hear me,

and waited patiently for you to return.

I dove in to save you, only to drown myself:

through all of this I had forgotten to come up for air.

I would like to believe that in the end you came back to me,

finding my body drifting and covered with years of algae and

weighing nothing at all. I would like to believe that in the end

you loved me, not out of want but out of need,

slowly drifting back to me after years of swimming against the current.

though, now that it's all said and done,

I'm afraid that you left the water long ago-

I fear that I've lost you, love, and in doing so

I've lost everything.