Unfulfilled
You ever feel like the color grey?
It’s kinda like having the life sucked out of you,
all the time, without an end in sight.
It’s like living in that old black and white TV
that Tia Ada had when I was young.
As we held each other the other night,
filled with nothing but passion
and a youthful cluelessness,
I couldn’t help but realize just how badly
you really fucked me up.
I realized I was unfulfilled.
Empty.
She’s a good person without a doubt,
but my heart was longing for something
or someone… that either doesn’t exist or
might still be hiding somewhere.
My heart longs for...
You.
The lady who doesn’t exist anymore.
The thing is, I know I should move on.
What scares me is that I’m actively trying
with all my might to forget about you.
When you left you took the color from my life.
There’s just the sickly grey on
her scalp after she shaved her head
because the chemo was taking her hair.
There’s just the grey in my hometown air,
where there used to be so much god damn
color.
I guess the tan in my skin stayed,
and so did the blood in my veins,
the red and purple on my back are gone,
but the memory stayed.
This place lacks color.
Yet even if these walls were covered with paint
as vibrant and as beautiful as you,
there’d still be something missing.
I’m trying. I know you don’t care anymore,
but I miss you.