Cake

This is the beginning of your chat with IJ

IJ: hey! :)

AM: hi

IJ: how are you?

AM: superficial

IJ: what?

AM: nothing just trying out new answers to this question

IJ: uuhm ok lol

I heard there’s cake today!

it’s Katrina’s birthday

AM: who’s Katrina?

IJ: from HR

AM: is that the nice one or the bitch?

IJ: they’re both nice…

AM: you clearly never needed their help

IJ: jeez you’re in a mood!

Focus, ok?! CAKE!!

AM: will I need to sing?

IJ: I guess… but you can just pretend or something

lip-sync!

AM: mmm… I might just come by later, after the singing is done

IJ: alright! I’ll make sure to save you some cake :)

AM: yeah ok cool

IJ: I am never inviting you anywhere ever again!

AM: what?

IJ: you ruined Katrina’s birthday!!

AM: I didn’t realize office b-days were invite only

IJ: I saw you fiddling with the cake when Katrina was giving her speech! you made is spell Happy Birthday Latrine

AM: the L and the e were particularly difficult to make from the other letters

IJ: do you think this is funny?!

AM: I'm pretty sure I saw some people laugh

IJ: you also licked the only cake cutting knife we have!

AM: I was flirting with the new intern…

IJ: we had to use a butter knife!

AM: Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.

IJ: and you insulted Katrina in the birthday card!! you wrote that she looks old!!!

AM: what I wrote was “Happy Birthday! May your actual age one day catch up with your face’s age”

IJ: you’re horrible! poor Katrina was crying in the women’s bathroom

AM: an improvement on her makeup, I’m sure

IJ: just what the hell is wrong with you??!!

AM: when I asked if she’s the nice one or the bitch… turns out she’s the bitch

IJ: so what? was this some sort of twisted revenge?!

AM: no…

This.

Was.

Justice!

IJ has closed the chat window.