Whatever It May Take

I stood there, able to go in any direction of my choosing

My path only began when I chose my first step

I knew not which way to take

Where it led

What I needed

What I lacked

I just knew to go

I started in a direction that looked less treacherous than the others

A path of deceit

As I lost more of my hope on that path than I gained

But I carried on, trying to forget where I had just been

I continued down a trail of denial

A forced amnesia

And then, the path presented itself again

Every pain came flooding back to the forefront of my mind

So I turned my back

In a rebellion to the pain, I faced the darkest path yet

I convinced myself I had been through the worst

I decided that this path, though dark, cold, and dangerous, was the path to take

I had survived this much

How much worse could it be

Because I had felt pain, I deserved to endure more of it

And endure I did

It exerted its power over me

Whipping me lash after lash

I felt exhaust and defeat

All of it

Even that which I had pushed back on my prior path

And I fell to my knees

A slow crawl was all I could muster

Until that fork in the road brought change

The knowing

Things could be different

Better

The Knowing

It was all I needed to stand again

The fork changed my course

And led me to happier trails

Full of beautiful sights

But the treacherous tracks and valleys still appeared

And even though pain remained a part of my journey

It did not overpower

For I had overcome

I had learned to navigate

I had learned to trust

To question

To embrace

To let go

I am in a constant state of becoming

Whatever it may take