Overdoses

These feelings I amma

let em roll down my tongue like candy

cause it’s eaiser to be happy

when the pills make You feel like cotton

trying every flavor

cause what’s the excuse

I relapse

detox

into another mess

it’s just the stress

i dont see the the point in trying to save my wellness

my eyes well up in tears

holding hands with my fears

I keep rereading our Messages

Try to scrap off your sadness

cause why didnt I see the sliver of your pain

I try to roll out my tongue

bite my anger

i Taste the salt from

my tears

poured in the cup

drunk them down

so I could heal

my throat from all the screaming I have done

I‘ve been sending texts at 4 am

cause I just need your skin

I need your blue eyes

and brown hair

and your lies saying your fine

i Need you to pour your broken parts in me

I know I can save you

i like a little kid jump up

down

throwing a fit

cause I am begging you to give a shit

i can’t love a dead thing back to life

I have turned to poetry

thought it would be cathartic

but it has me feeling lethargic

I often stay up late reading over everything

cause I have tried to find out how many lies were told

were you ever happy

i am at crossword

I look at the mirror

my head over the stink

turning the faucet

hoping it would drown out the thoughts in my head

my heart has indentation of you

your name carved on it

cause I don’t think our love could die

i use to belive we were like infinity

I belive the love was right the timing wasn’t

Maybe we were always meant to be a period

I fold the pages of this book

cause I tend to come back and look at it again

cause I am obessed with closure