This imagination of mine, is a curse sometimes.

I just want to see the sun come up.

Not because of what's tomorrow, but because I can't stand the night.

I don't want to exist in the dark, and yet I want to shrink in the light.

To stay inside a cocoon of my own making.

So that I need not face the bright smiles, of friends I don't deserve.

Life seems to pass so slowly, drawing out the details of my agony.

And when I find a dream to hang on to, time speeds up and a year has passed.

As if to say,

You may imagine, but right here is where you will stay.

As if my life is just a trick of the light in a room full of mirrors.

Where I am endlessly searching for the true foundation of all this projection.

And no matter the amount of glass I smash,

I still can't seem to decide whether I am hopeless or driven.

Am I just a madman clawing at the walls of a maze of my own making?

Am I genius for giving myself something to keep on moving?

The nights stretch on and the moonlight is bright,

But I still can't seem to catch a glimpse of truth or right.

I fill my mind and body with distraction.

Ignoring any and all of my reactions.

I think to myself that I am nothing and simultaneously I dream of touching the sky.

I think of all the greatest things in my life and instantly recognize what is missing.

Yet, the bridge between the two is nowhere to be found.

There is only a great chasm too wide to step over.

I smile as I walk away.

I smile as I think I could just end it today.