Anxiety
He doesn’t know.
Neither do his friends.
That’s the worst part.
He thinks everyone
Stresses out
Freaks out
Breaks down
Under pressure.
He thinks it’s normal.
He doesn’t realize that
Breaking down
Wastes time.
But that time is what’s so
Unimaginably
Important
Necessary
Vital
To him.
Time to get things done.
Time to have fun.
Time to relax.
But he doesn’t realize
That this isn’t okay.
Screaming
Tearing up
Breaking down
At the worry of time.
He doesn’t want to talk to anyone
Not a single person
About it.
The overreactions affect
His family members.
But he still won’t talk.
He keeps it bottled up.
Like it doesn’t exist.
Until it just spills out.
Out and out,
Like it will never stop.
And he doesn’t know
That his mother
Cries herself to sleep.
As she wonders
What she did wrong.
What she should’ve
Changed.
How she should’ve
Raised
Her son.
If he would just realize
That he
Wastes
So
Much
Time
Worrying.
Hours and hours
Weekly
Are spent
Exploding.
Like a seemingly dormant
Volcano.
He’s quiet and fine.
Until all the sudden
There is no stopping
This argument.
This discouragement.
The fear
The anger
The angst.
He destroys the people around him.
They break down.
But they can’t
Do a single thing.
He doesn’t know
How to get everything
Done.
He doesn’t know
How to stop wasting time.
He doesn’t know that
His future matters
And that his hard work
Now
Matters.
He thinks everyone’s
Got it all planned out.
They all know exactly what they’re doing.
And he doesn’t.
He thinks the world will end if
He doesn’t go to an
Expensive
Fancy
High-ranking
College.
His mother asks him
If he wants to apply to
Expensive
Fancy
High-ranking
Colleges.
And he screams.
He breaks the plastic hanger as it shatters
Into hundreds of pieces.
He slams the laptop closed.
He throws the laptop at the wall.
It’s broken now.
No, he doesn’t want to go there.
He doesn’t know what he wants.
But he thinks he needs to want something.
He doesn’t know that his little sister is afraid.
Afraid of what will happen.
Afraid of him lashing out at others.
Setting an earthquake on
A girlfriend,
A wife
A friend.
His rollercoaster will never end.
I’ve just got to hope
And stop crying myself to sleep
Waking up with red, puffy, painful eyes, and a splitting headache
Worrying myself in the morning
As my hands tremble while brushing my hair
As my lips quiver, waiting for the tears to come flooding again while I choose my clothes
Staying quiet,
All the time
Barely getting a word out at school
Seldom smiling
Seldom acknowledging anyone
Eating alone
Stealing food from the kitchen
And never coming out to see anyone
Hiding in my room
Curling up under my covers with the cat
Soothing myself with her soft fur before the fighting starts once again.
@Ghost_Herald