The Claim of a Bean Sprout

"Greetings fellow swordsman! I, Sir Grenadine Vaul will be your instructor for the remainder of your time here at the Academy. Be that all five years of merely five days, I am the only instructor of swordsmanship you will ever have."

"Sir Grenadine? Yeah, right. You're just a kid.

"You can't be more than a year older than us!"

"You're just another student aren't you?"

"Bean sprout."

"You're faking--"

"WHO CALLED ME A BEAN SPROUT?!"

...

"I would have you know, young students, that while you are all merely fourteen, I am fifteen. Thank you very much. And as I was saying, I will be your instruct--"

"Why's a kid teaching us?"

"Where's the real teacher?"

"Let's go see the school Head. Maybe the teacher's sick."

"Yeah, I don't want a boy who looks like my little brother bossing me around."

"WHO CALLED ME A BOY? WAS IT YOOOOU?! OR YOOOOU? ANSWER ME THIS INSTANT OR IT'S TEN LAPS AROUND THE ACADEMY!"

"Ten laps? He's got to be joking."

"Yeah, a real teacher wouldn't make us do something that ridiculous. The grounds cover five hundred acres. Ten laps is suicide."

"I doubt even Sir Grenadine here could make it one lap."

"WHO SAID MY TITLE SARCASTICALLY AND DOUBTED MY PHYSICAL ABILITY WITH A DISRESPECTFUL TONE?!"

"Oh look, the bean sprout's mad."

"WHO CALLED ME A BEAN--"

"--why's he following us through the halls?"

"He's not serious, is he?"

"How long is he going to keep up the act?"

"Aw, and I was looking forward to starting sword training today."

"IF YOU WISH TO LEARN SWORDSMANSHIP THEN YOU MERELY NEED TO RETURN TO THE FIELD AND I WILL FORGIVE YOUR FOOLISH DOUBTS ABOUT MY POSITION!"

"You know, I think this kid might be serious. Who knows? Maybe he's really the instructor and he's been training since birth."

"THAT'S RIGHT, YOU FOOLS! RETURN TO THE FIELD AT ONCE OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!"

"Nevermind. No real human calls people fools. That's so over-the-top."

"Maybe he's a dwarf!"

"WHO CALLED ME A DWARF? I'LL SHOW YOU--"

"This is the Head's office, right?"

"Yeah let's go in."

"The Head will know who our teacher really is."

"HOW DARE YOU DOUBT THAT I AM YOUR TEACHER, YOU WRETCHED WEAKLINGS--"

"PHIL IS THAT YOU?"

...

"Yes, Head, sir."

"STOP IMPERSONATING THE TEACHER AND GO UNTIE SIR BENEDICT THIS INSTANT."

...

"I knew it. The bean sprout's a student."

"WHO CALLED ME A BEAN SPROUT?! YOU--"

The End