Red Rhubarb

Red Rhubarb

Today, I am five and a half, which is a lot, but I am not very pretty ’cuz my hair is red and I have too many freckles. But I have one friend, Mary Jane, and she’s fat which is even worse! I feel good when I am around her because everyone makes fun of her and forgets about my red hair.

Today, Mary Jane is with her Dad who duzn’t live with her. I’m not sure why but I think it’s ’cuz her Mom is so mean. But her Dad took us to the movies once and bought us Juicy Fruit so I think he’s nice.

But today, I am by myself and I decide to sneak into the rhubarb patch behind Mary Jane’s house ’cuz I love rhubarb. It’s sour but it makes my tongue sparkle! So there I am, crawling into the garden to get my rhubarb stalk when I hear this loud nasty voice, “Get out of my rhubarb patch!” I make myself invisible but it doesn’t work and I look up to see Mary Jane’s mother yelling from the second story of her house. She’s fat, too, like Mary Jane. I can’t make myself invisible because she is up too high and can see me. “I’m going to call your mother and tell her you’re stealing my rhubarb!” She sounds like a witch and I am very scared and run home as fast as my skinny legs can carry me.

All night, I wait for the phone call to my Mommy and am so scared. Finally, I fall asleep and have this horrible, terrible dream. My hands are red and runny from the rhubarb and everyone knows I am a thief. I wake up the next morning to hear a lot of shrieking siren noise and look out the window as fast as I can. There are police cars everywhere. I look again at my red hands and it looks like blood. Then I remember what I did to Mary Jane’s fat mommy and I know I am safe because I am too little for anyone to think I did it!

Now I can have all the rhubarb I want!